Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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