I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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