A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
