I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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