How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
