paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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