did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
where does the pee come out of this thing
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
