You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
