Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
