your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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