Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
