so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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