the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
