Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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