And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
