How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
