I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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