He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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