You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
