do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
