i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
