youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
