Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
