I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
