I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize