He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
