I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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