do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
