I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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