We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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