We're facebook friends in real life
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
