Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
