dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
