I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
