Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
