whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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