I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
