Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
COCAINE IS GR8
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