But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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