It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
