He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
