dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
