so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
