need another drink. this is the easiest way
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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