he puts the penis in happiness.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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