best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
