Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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