Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
