I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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