I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
