I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
