i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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