why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
