East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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