Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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