he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
