we made out on top of his cat.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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