I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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