Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he thought i was a dude.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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