did you get engaged???
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
