i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
