this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
