I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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