Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
