Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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